adidas Golf Wants to Press its Tiny Metal Nipples into Your Neck

Written By: Tony Covey

*The majority of this story originally appeared in the MyGolfSpy Forum. 

I know…it’s almost ridiculous to use apparel and story of the year in the same sentence, but for whatever its worth, my adidas guy is telling me that their new climachill polo is the adidas apparel story of 2014.

Please contain your excitement until the end.

As far as apparel stories go, this is HUGE (I’m right on the edge of using the blink tag). It’s so huge in fact that we changed the headline when we moved this story out of the forum.

Originally we went with: climachill – the adidas Golf STORY OF THE YEAR

I didn’t exactly go to journalism school, but I’m pretty sure leading with nipples is day 2 or day 3 kind of stuff.

This tiny metal nipples thing is unquestionably better, right? It grabs you, or at least it pokes you.

Either way I have your attention.

And so here I am, once again, trying to get you guys excited about the latest in a long line of $75 golf polos.

So here goes:

Seriously…adidas has done something really cool with this new line of climachill polos…cooling dots, titanium fibers, something about mesh, and mostly solid style.

This shirt is seriously a polo worth reading about.

Excited yet? No? Really?

Fortunately, I’ve got the nipple thing to fall back on.

For years now apparel companies have been talking about their various magic fabrics. It’s lightweight, it wicks away moisture, it’s breathable…stop me if you’ve heard any of this before.

All of it? Right…moving on.

In many ways the new climachill isn’t any different. It is lightweight, the climachill fabric “acts like an open mesh”, which means it’s well ventilated, and designed to draw heat away from the body. As you might expect from the name, climachill is designed to keep you cool.

Get to the Part About the Nipples Already. . .

The most prominent feature of the new climacool polo is a smattering of aluminum (A-loo-min-ee-um for my British friends – I don’t actually have any British friends, surprised?) cooling dots located inside the neck and collar area of the shirt.

The idea is that the dots stay cool and stay pressed against your skin, which in turn helps you keep cool. I actually wouldn’t know if they actually work because apparently I wore the shirt wrong the first time.

Yes…apparently you can wear a shirt wrong without putting it on backwards. I did the climachill equivalent of tucking a t-shirt into jeans and not wearing a belt, or worse yet, tucking a t-shirt into sweat pants.

These cooling dot things (metal nipples) require skin contact to do their thing (keep you cool), and so climachill isn’t supposed to be worn with an undershirt, which is what I did. And ha ha, adidas (and more specifically adidas Golf Director of Global Apparel Product Marketing, Davide “Superfluous E” – or Super E for short – Mattucci), it was an Under Armour t-shirt.

So anyway, yup…apparently I’m the chode who somehow managed to wear a polo shirt wrong. Dumbest guy in golf. Don’t be like me…let your moobs jiggle freely, climachill demands it.

Assisting in the cooling equation are titanium fibers that are actually woven into the shirt to maximize the connection between you and the shirt. Titanium and cooling dots…in a shirt. Can’t say I’ve seen it before.

Of course, those of you who have purchased adidas apparel for other sports, might actually have seen the cooling dots before.

Historically adidas golf and adidas proper haven’t worked closely together (or at all). That’s finally changing, which means technologies developed by the parent company (like tiny cooling dots) are finally finding their way into golf apparel. We very well could be on the leading edge of an adidas apparel revolution, insomuch as apparel can be revolutionized. It’s probably going to be a very small revolution…like when Cosmo Kramer went on strike at H&H Bagels.

Of course, because this is golf, our version of the climachill polo runs $15-$20 more than the tennis equivalent. By all means feel free to buy and wear the tennis version instead. I sure as hell don’t care.

Here’s the Deal

The adidas guys swear by this shirt…like genuinely believe they’ve created a technologically advanced polo. Like I said, I can’t yet comment on the effectiveness of the shirt, because I wore it wrong, and because it really wasn’t that hot anyway…and I had beer, so you know.

I do like the idea though, and come August when it’s 95° and humid as the sticky side of a mystery wrinkle on My 600-lb Life, I may find myself actually loving it. In the mean time I’ll just sit and wonder about where they might place the dots next. I’ve got some ideas.

But What About. . .

A few readers have questioned whether the metal dots might warm up in direct sunlight and actually climaheat your back. adidas says that won’t be a problem.

Aluminum dissipates heat extremely well. Granted, it’s not quite as good as copper or silver, but there is a need to be cost effective (and we’re already at $80). It’s a bit unfortunate actually. A silver-nippled Tour version of the climachill would have fit in well with the PGA Tour Silver Out promotion that TaylorMake is running to celebrate the launch of the SLDR S line of metalwoods.

Talk about a missed cross-marketing opportunity.

Readers have also wondered if the surface area covered by the nipples dots is sufficient to actually provide any sort of really cooling effect. What adidas is saying is that while the dots do help to further cool what is one of the hottest spots on the human body when we sweat (the neck), the primary cooling effect comes from those titanium fibers woven throughout the proprietary adidas fabric.

Even adidas knows you lead with the nipples.

climachill in real life

In nearly 4 years of having random apparel show up on my doorstep, the climachill is by far the lightest polo I’ve seen. It’s basically the shirt equivalent of the adizero golf shoe, and I suspect that plays a role in keeping you cool.

The cut is slightly athletic, and not nearly as boxy as most of what’s under the other A-brand under which TMaG produces apparel. climachill is basically true to size, and while not rigid, it doesn’t stretch quite as much as most of what’s in my closet.

I did have the chance to wear the climachill the right way the other day. It really wasn’t all that hot, and so I don’t yet have any sort of opinion on the cooling dots. The way I see it, even if the aluminum cooling dots and magic titanium fibers don’t climachill you any better than the other metal-less and nipple-less shirts out there, you’ve still got yourself a nice polo that, total outrage aside, isn’t much (or any) more expensive than any other premium golf polo offering.

The Requisite Tech Video

For those looking for a bit more info on the dots and the impact heat has on your golf game, Sports Science has produced a new segment where John Brenkus basically cooks Jason Day like a rotisserie chicken to show the effectiveness of climachill technology.

Another @itsthejor Media Kit

adidas golf PR guy Jory Mendes is the current champ, and a legend (primarily in his own mind, but a legend nonetheless) when it comes to creating some of the most seriously badass, over-the-top media kits going right now. Already this season thejor can claim responsibility for the adizero one speaker box, the Ashworth Major Series Collection, and the adidas gripmore…hell, I don’t know what you call this. Check it out for yourself.

To promote climachill thejor and the rest of the adidas golf team decided to ship the polo in a matching mini fridge. Why? Because nothing says chill like a fridge, I guess.

While you don’t have to love adidas, I would hope most can appreciate a company where one guy says “hey, let’s ship a polo out to media…in a mini fridge”. And then another guy…or girl…doesn’t matter, is like “yeah, that’s a fabulous idea”, and then a 3rd guy…probably Mattucci is like “ok, but the fridge has to actually work…like actually cool stuff”.

Everybody nods in agreement, and this happens:

Styles, Pricing, and Availability

adidas climachill polos are available now in 3 distinct styles: (left to right) climachill Stipe Block Shirt ($80), climachill Print Shirt ($80), climachill Chest Print Shirt ($75).